Don’t Fuck With Jesus Or He Might Fuck With You

Growing up I had a pal

called Shorty, he thought

he was a bad motherfucker

Shorty was never without

a pistol tucked in his pants,

one day his lady caught him

cheating on her with a floozy

She kicked him in the nuts

so hard his gun fired, blowing

off most of his pecker

She grabbed the bloody sausage,

stomped on it & gave it burial at

sea, flushing it down the toilet

That’s how Jesus lost his name

I told him look on the bright side,

Shorty is better than Stumpy.

-by Catfish McDaris

                       

                                           

Catfish McDaris has been active in the small press wold for 25 years. He lives in a cave at a nudist colony. His biggest seller is Prying: with Jack Micheline & Charles Bukowski. He has only 7 toes.

                                                                                                                                                                    
Painting Courtesy: John Graham 

John Graham  is an australian artist and cartoonist.

My Penis Has No Brain

Gazing into her hazel eyes where

the golden honey flecks swam, I

thought something has to give

With strong suspicions of having

a male clitoris between my ears

that controlled my lusty erections

I'd always walked on the dark path,

following the wind, listening to the

trees, watching the white crosses on

the hill and funerals in the spring

Laying my cards on the table for all

the pretty ladies, popping cherry gum,

turquoise roaches, killing with kindness

Iridescent flies on a bloated corpse, fat

monkeys, beavers in a woodpile, saber

tooth tigers, Eskimo snow ninjas

Just leave the porch lights on, front and

back, if you're lucky I'll stumble into 

neighborhood like Romeo on Viagra.

-by Catfish McDaris

Catfish McDaris has been active in the small press wold for 25 years. He lives in a cave at a nudist colony. His biggest seller is Prying: with Jack Micheline & Charles Bukowski. He has only 7 toes. 

Photo Courtesy: Janne Karlsson

Janne  Karlsson (1973) is a highly productive artist from Sweden. Over the years his dark and surreal work has tainted hundreds of publications. Janne's newest book The Human Unkind is available through Epic Rites Press. Janne's website is here: www.svenskapache.se